FOUR WALLS

It's gone cold and quiet

No one knows where to go or what to say.

I haven't been there for you

It's breaking my world in two.

Time to say goodbye to her

Who bathed you sang to you and kept you warm.

Now you're to bear it alone

It's true that I can't come home.

Should be easier to say goodbye

Cause you don't need her at all.

You keep it hanging on

And it might go wrong.

It's not the pain it caused

Would ruin you shatter you break you down

You've never lived at all

Until you've lived alone.

There were four walls and the need to hold on

You tried so hard but now she is gone.

Life is short and it proves we're caught in a bind of wills

Four walls hold on to what used to be yours.

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PORCELAIN

Dripping with fear, confronting spiteful sneers,
Her conscience is laid bare.
Regaling tales of woe, self-inflicted deathly blows,
With wings unfurled she cries...

Consider what I am: porcelain,
In the hands of a child whom no-one scolds.
Imploring begs a tear, his consent draws near,
But she wears her angst so well.

Now the inquisition grows, dread releasing thunderous floes,
Of callous, chastening bile.
Despondent and broke, no end on which to pin his hope,
He responds with gall in kind.

Consider what I am: porcelain,
The mute amongst the hoards.
Now the calm draws near, but malice drives him still,
Because she wears her angst so well.

Raking leaves through sandy gales,
Counting straws in burning bales.
Chasing shadows, forging jewels,
Sculpting cliffs with wooden tools.

Going to war to end all wars,
Trading punches, settling scores.
Building castles in the sky,
Live in fear that one might die.

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HEADRUSH

It's superficial this wound of mine

Doesn't even reach the bone.

But her's is hanging from her eyelids now

The pain, regret and guilt that I see.

His kindness comes out his pores doesn't it

It's not that he drank too much last night

Life has a funny way of throwing things at you

The good the bad, it's not so black and white.

And I'll run till my lungs bleed

And I'll pedal till my bike breaks

Can't get away from you, even though I want to

Because he likes the headrush of being with me.

It's fundamental your jealousy

But you can't handle stolen thrones

It's kind of funny how I'm left here thinking

The split of right and wrong isn't clear.

Her eyes are telling me a story

Of how her sorry life remains

It's clear she wants him to reject her now

So her world makes sense again.

DEFEAT MYSELF

Never saw the sun so low.
Never spared a thought before.
Tell me where the brave ones go.
Bring me back my false control.

How you gonna find it anywhere?
Building up your own sense of yesteryear?
What to say, what to say, when it all falls down again?
Where to find the perfect adages?

Faced with stubborn thorns.
Braced for all but scorn.
Waiting for a life less staid.
How contrived is this face?

How to rid me of this apathy?
Lucid thoughts escape me.
I can leave, I can leave, I am my own prisoner.
I can leave, I can leave, I am my own prisoner.

Let it burn, let it burn, it's all dead anyway.
Let it burn, let it burn, it's all dead anyway.

CLEAN CUT

I have never dreamed I could be so uncontained

Yet so hard to hurt.

What is war something you can't bear to be

In the thick of it with me.

It's no, it's no longer clean cut when you've got one over me

It's a game, but I've no more chances

To feel the same.

I will carry on lying to you if you keep believing me 

Time haunts me the longer I wait.

Why can't they see my back breaking slowly

Why can't I withdraw a lie.

LIVES OF OTHERS

You're pointing your eyes at the ground again,
I can tell you've got something to say.
I'll stand through another hundred of the harshest winters,
But I can't take your insisting one more day.

Chasing lives of all these others ages you,
Striving for something that I'm not.
Take it from me, it's not all that it appears,
It's not the life for all these years you've sought.

Don't it feel like we're dragging our heels?
Like we're not quite where we ought to be?
I don't think I'm of the constitution,
To rest easy when there's so much to be done.

Take time to reacquaint with contentment.
Find the peace of mind that seems to have been lost.
Realise those things you might let slip into the void.
Selfishness is not so easily taught.

Don't if feel like we're dragging our heels?
Like we're not quite where we ought to be?
No, it feels I'm right where I'm supposed to be.
This incertitude will be the death of me.

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THE SOURCE

One two three, the Gods are going to get you

He saw the clouds open in the sky.

He did say when's it going to be your turn

To take the fall.

It's late again, the Gods are coming for you

He opens his eyes, he's scared of what he's seeing

Close the line it's time to get us going

To the start to the start.

Where is the source of the blame, where am I going to hide

Where is the source of the power, where am I going to hide

Here he comes you're going to have to hurry

It's nearly time for you to find a faith.

Four five six, counting down until you tire

And close your eyes

One two three the Gods are coming for you

It's easy to escape them if you run

Or just give in it doesn't have to be so hard 

To lose yourself.

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©2020 by Ah, Lucidity.